Lessons Learned [part two of many]

Unfortunately, finances are a huge part of adoption. Huge.

I hate that money has to be a part of it. Money is a sensitive subject. It's hard to earn. Hard to ask for. Hard to talk about.

And we Americans, well we just don't like to part with it.

We love our money.

We love our security.

And if we have money and security, we rarely recognize our need for anything else.

When Mark and I sent in our first $50 adoption fee, I thought that raising money for the adoption would be the biggest financial hardship we would face in the coming years.

Boy was I wrong.

Over the past ten months, we've seen our personal finances go from just above modest and comfortable to just below extremely tight.

For the first time in our marriage, we've faced a long period of financial stress. We've become those people who go around with bald tires and ripped clothes because, after the bills are paid and the groceries purchased, there just isn't anything left.

And still, we are among the richest in the world.

Our financial difficulty has not come about as a result of the adoption. Like many Americans, we are experiencing the sting of an economic recession. And like many couples, we are becoming comfortable with working harder to earn less and adjusting our lifestyle to match our budget.

However, I do think that the fact that we are pursing adoption has changed the way I view our finances. It has made me critically evaluate the difference between a want and a need - a contrast that I am still trying to figure out in many areas of my life. This uncomfortable struggle has helped me understand what it feels like to come to the end of your financial rope.

And while I learn how to do more with less, I am constantly reminded that

I am STILL among the very richest in the world.

With this knowledge comes a huge responsibility - a responsibility that I believe God is forcing me to wrestle with. That He is asking me to decide what I will do, who I will bless, how I will minister with what I have. However much or however little that may be.

Mark and I are finding it ironic that the financial challenge we were prepared to face (maintaining an adoption fund) has not been the biggest difficulty. You see, while we have scrimped, saved, sacrificed and worked.our.tails.off to pay each adoption bill, there has always been enough.

For me, this is confirmation once again that God's heart is for the orphan. He continues to reveal to me that His heart beats for the broken, the poor, the helpless, and the meek.

Somehow, I think that he is making me broken, poor, helpless, and meek in the process.

And perhaps that's not such a bad place to be.