So, wait, you mean you're not bringing the baby home?!?

Tomorrow - yes TOMORROW - we are boarding a jet plane bound for Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. *Side note; we're taking the "red-eye" out of Denver. Saying that makes me feel like such an important jet setter. "Yeah, I'm so busy and in demand that I have to do my traveling in the middle of the night. It's no big deal. Psshh."

After being in Ethiopia for about 24 hours, we will meet our boy.

I can wait to feel his weight in my arms. To hear his voice (we're pretty sure he'll either be screaming in fright or laughing at us.) To get a good look at that hair and those eyelashes. I am over-the-moon excited. I really am.

But I'm also dreading this meeting a little bit.

That sounds harsh, I know, but the truth is that after three visits with him, we have to leave him and return home without him.

We were discussing this over dinner one night in a busy restaurant. As I explained the fact that we have to leave our baby and the reasons why, my 10-year-old nephew let out a giant "THAT SUCKS!!" for the whole restaurant to hear.

And you know what? I couldn't agree more.

But we have to follow the rules, rules that we have to believe are in place to protect the children being adopted. So we will meet our boy, go to court to do our part in finalizing his adoption, and then

we

will

wait.

We will come home and wait for the news that we have been given an Embassy date - an Embassy date where they will issue his Visa and say, "You're good.to.go."

And we might wait 3 weeks or 12 weeks or forever.

(Okay, it won't be forever, but letmetellyou, it's going to feel like forever.)

So again, we face both joy and sorrow as we continue to pursue our boy. All week, we have been swinging between thrilled and stressed and excited and overwhelmed and just plain sad.

And let's remember that there's more of this to come - lots more - I can't wait to tell you all about it.

And I flat out cannot wait to pinch my boy's cheeks. If you've seen his latest picture, you know about the cheeks.

**Sigh**