Celebrating [his] Mother

Every May I have the honor of celebrating some fabulous women in my life. I'm blessed with a wonderful mom and mother-in-law and two fabulous grandmothers. They have done and given so much for me and no amount of flowers or cards or brunches or heart-shaped jewelry could ever measure up to the amount of thanks I owe them.

But this mother's day, there is a new woman who is heavy on my heart. A new mother that I am celebrating this weekend. I may never have the honor of knowing this precious lady, but I will be forever linked to her.

My son's birthmother.

Since we started this process about a year ago, I've been arrogantly thinking that I am the one who is sacrificing to give our baby a family. I've been pained by the amount of time and money that have been required. I've whined and fussed and patted myself on the back a little.

But these sacrifices are nothing -- nothing -- compared to the sacrifice that his birthmother will make for him.

She is the one who will carry this baby, feel him move inside of her, she will labor in pain, deliver him into the world, hold him in her arms. And then - within a few moments or a few months - she will decide that she cannot raise him.

And she will take him to a place where she believes he will be cared for.

And she.will.give.everything. for him.

I can't know what circumstances will shape her decision. Perhaps illness or poverty or death. Or perhaps she is still a child herself. I may never know. What I do know is that - no matter what the circumstances - her decision will be painful and marked with grief and intense courage.

At this very moment, it is highly likely that my son's birthmother is carrying him in her womb. She may be struggling through her decision or coming to terms with the choice she has already made. Or maybe - due to poverty or illness - she doesn't really have a choice.

I've prayed for this courageous woman for the past year. I've prayed that she would be healthy and eat vegetables and get to see a doctor.

But this week, my prayers for her have changed. This week, I'm praying for her to have peace. I'm praying for her to rest. And I'm praying that she will somehow know - beyond a shadow of a doubt - that her son will not grow up an orphan. I'm praying that she will have full knowledge that her sacrifice is not in vain; that her son has family who will care for him and love him just as intensely as she does.

And I am thanking God for her.