Friday, October 14, 2011

Well, Surprise Surprise

Before we brought Briggs home, people were constantly reminding me of how much my life was going to change. I was well aware of the fact that parenting would come with certain challenges and rewards. I knew there would be less sleep, less free time, less flexibility, yada, yada, yada.

However, I'd like to pick a bone with all of you experienced parents over a few minor details that you neglected to warn me about.
First of all, it would have been nice to know that I would have to touch hot dogs every single day. Cutting them up and serving them to our boy makes me shiver every time. Dis.gus.ting.

And why did nobody warn me that I, personally, would smell like diapers?

Then there's the talking-in-third-person-all-day habit. "Mommy loves you." "Mommy's eating right now." "Mommy's going to change your diaper." "Mommy can't pick you up right now." "Briggs, that doesn't make Mommy very happy." "Please give that to Mommy." "Mommy sounds like a crazy person."
Please, how do I make it stop?

Furthermore, you all never told me that my at-home-toddler-talk would spill over into other areas of my life. One of my volleyballers fell down during a game the other day - and right out loud for everybody to hear I said, "ohhhh, KA-BOOM." And now - because none of you experienced moms gave me a heads up on watching what I say - I'm the lamest coach ever.

And finally, could somebody puh-lease tell me what I'm supposed to do with this boy while I shower?!

9 comments:

SPEAKIN' FREELY said...

BAAHH HA HA haha! Oh, sorry. I will not laugh at you only with you as we are all in the same boat. There is not enough warnings that anyone could give you to prepare for toddler-hood. I would just like to say locking them up in their rooms or cribs (safe and sound) are the only way I get anything done. :)

Jess said...

Would he hang out in a pack and play with some toys in your bedroom while you showered? That way you're within ear shot... I've usually timed my showers either when Jon's home or Connor is down for the night. Inconvenient I know. As for the rest... Well I do hear the talking in third person thing helps the kiddo learn to identify those who care for him so you have an excuse with that :)

Joan said...

Watching you become a mom has brought me and your dad great delight! Hang in there!

Beth said...

Oh, yes... I still haven't figured out the shower thing. I usually get to shower only when Stephen's able to watch Avery, or after she goes to bed. I don't love it, but it's the way it goes. Even though she's almost two, I'm still learning all the things no one ever tells you! The whole experience is so unknown. Enjoy! :)

Meme said...

oh my sweet friend. Yes indeed motherhood is equally unglamourous and pride reducing as it is amazing and precious! um, ideas.. try putting the hot dogs in a ziplock bag and using a blunt knife to cut them up... then you never have to touch them :-)(I do the same thing to mix up meat loaf)... or maybe just buy some kitchen chef gloves.. you know the tacky ones they use in food service. why not? i put the boys in their crib or in the exersaucer when i attempt a shower. Or just let them hang out in the bathroom with me. I have very little social life though and will not openly admit the number of showers I no longer take on a regular basis:-). You are doing great, and im so proud to hear that your language development is coming along so well :-). Good job mommy friend. Thats a good girl. Meme is so proud! ;-)

Julie Briggs said...

You shower after he goes to sleep... that's what I had to do and the hot water was like my reward after a long crazy day.

thehomespunheart said...

Hey Becky, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I read this post. Laugh because I could SO relate or cry because I could SO relate. Ahem.

As for showers, I try to get mine before the crew wakes up - David leaves for work early, so that is my wake up call. Honestly, getting up an hour and a half before my littles is my SAVING GRACE during the days. Just having a little time to shower, read, check e-mail in peace and quiet is a life saver for me daily.

Thinking of you!
Monica

Brady and Liana said...

shower after he's asleep or else put him in the crib with books/toys. might cry for a few but they learn after like 2 times you're coming back :)

Wes and Layla said...

I have found that Wes, moreso than I have, lets the toddler talk roll over into regular life. I've caught him a few times referring to himself as "Daddy" in public and it makes me laugh every time! I love that he is so into being a daddy, though! Also, I referred to a patient's abdomen as their tummy the other day, so.....yep! haha!